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Authentically You

Blog inspired by the latest episode of my Ted Lasso.  WARNING this has spoilers in it.  Do NOT read if you’ve not seen Season 3 Episode 9.

When you show up as authentically you then everything in your life will go better

Life will be in flow.

I have read about this, I believe it to be true but it can be so hard to actually do.  My personal struggles with this explain why I have taken a week to write this blog when I knew exactly what to write as I watched the episode last week.

Unauthentically You

We are all raised with ideas of how we are meant to be.  If our parents don’t do that then society certainly does.  I’ve worked in enough schools to know how much school shrinks people, and not just pupils.

The chasm between presenting as you believe you’re meant to be and being authentically  you is enormous and terrifying.

Ted Lasso – Spoiler alert

In Ted Lasso last week one of the characters, Colin, told his team mates that he is gay.  He kind of had to as they were all assuming his best friend was gay.  It certainly wasn’t something he planned to do.  He had planned to continue to keep his private life private. He hadn’t said he wasn’t gay but he certainly hadn’t said he was. 

Of course in real life this character may have been rejected or judged but this is Ted Lasso land where things are beautiful.  Colin’s teammates weren’t really bothered either way.  They said it didn’t matter to them and wasn’t really any of their business.  Then Ted gave a talk about how we need to embrace people’s differences and not just pretend we are all the same.

After this half time conversation Colin went back to the match and  played better than he had ever played before.  The pundits said something like “where has he been hiding” and I think he got man of the match.  Previously he had been mocked and joked about but it was as though after his sharing he came into his power.  

It was deeply moving. I’d get the proper quote but my computer is being a bit strange and not letting me skip through the episode.  I daren’t put on the episode as I will get sucked into a TV vortex and never finish this blog.

I watched this and thought of one of my friends/students, Chris*.

I am not a person who likes to wear a skirt, and certainly not one that’s fitted and shows my knees.  I’d like to be a person who does feel comfortable wearing these things but being glamorous leads to me feeling deeply uncomfortable.  I prefer to wear over sized cardigans and comfy jeans.

My friend Chris likes to wear a very fancy pencil skirt and knee length boots.  As a cis-gendered, heterosexual man Chris has taken quite some years to feel able to be authentially him.

Chris has found that he sings better when he is wearing the clothes that he feels called to wear. Life flows more easily.  It has been a total joy to see his journey from nervously wearing the clothes he loves and waiting for a comment, (I didn’t notice after the first time because I am not observant), to owning his power on instagram and in many a coffee shop all over the country.   Here he is singing in my latest vocalist concert.  

Interestingly I have taught quite a few young men who happily wear nail varnish and/or make up.  But these men are younger and either gay or bisexual.  I wonder if this confidence is related to age or sexuality.

I also wonder how I will dress when I do feel confident to own my power. I know I seem confident, and in a lot of ways I am, but I’m not confident attracting attention with my clothes or looks.  Maybe that is my next frontier.

Anyway I digress – which I do, a lot – back to the point.

When you show up as authentically you, with no explanation let alone apology, you are free.

I’m not saying this it’s easy but I am pretty sure it’s the only way to live a truly happy life.  Personally, I am working on it.  It’s a work in progress and bloody hard work!

Love your voice workshop

Own your spoken voice workshop is about finding out what you sound like when you stop trying.

Stop trying to please other people.

Stop being afraid of being heard.

Stop fearing offending people.

Allow yourself to be “too much.”

Allow yourself to be authentically you.

If you feel that your voice doesn’t show you in your full power, or that your spoken voice is in some way is part of your camouflage then this workshop could transform your life.

Find out about Own Your Voice Workshop

Shy Singers – authentically you, singing!

I see this week after week with some of my shy, fledgling singers.   

Each week they are scared and it take them so much courage to sing.  They remember it feeling easier during their previous lesson but what they forget is that they were more scared at the start of their previous lesson and less scared by the end.  

By the end of the lesson they are singing and wondering why they were so scared in the first place.

The first time you own your power is the scariest.

Then it gets easier.

And then you get confident and forget how hard it used to be.

You forget how hard you’ve worked to get where you are.

So you set an even scarier challenge and remember how hard it is.

And so goes the cycle.

But it’s either doing the scary stuff or living half a life.  I know what I choose (most days, except when I’m tired and having a rest), I try to be authentically me.

 Chris say please follow him on 

** I have nicked the image of Chris and the quotes from Chris’ Instagram, for more of his stuff do follow him on there.


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